They are listed in no order of (de)merit.
1. Slugs who lean on the pole
HELLO? The pole is there to act as hand rails for us to hold, not for you to lean on… especially not for you to stick it in your butt crack cuz you prolly like having something stuck up your ass.
2. Commuters who read the papers on the train in the morning
We’re all packed in the damn train like sardines in a can already – no space for you to read the papers and shove your arm/papers into the other person’s face!
3. People who stand in front of you if you have a seat and stare you down waiting for you to offer your seat to them
Sorry, wrong approach. I’d gladly offer my seat to the elderly if I think they need it. However, the more you attempt to intimidate me into offering you my seat, all the more I’ll pretend to be oblivious to you. Yes, I know, such a bitch right? What’s new?
4. People with body odour who lean on the glass panel
PLEASE GO AND BATHE OR SPRITZ SOME PERFUME ON YOURSELF BEFORE TAKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT. The glass panel does not serve to block out your odour. And people who take the corner seat like to sleep, do you realise that the stench that emits from your body affects the otherwise reasonably idyllic environment to sleep in?
5. Idiots who blast music… especially techno
We don’t need/want to know what songs are on your playlist. Need I say more?
6. Annoying kids who cry and wail like everyone in the train is deaf
Okay, can’t really blame the kids for this since they’re well, kids. But HELLO PARENTS!? Go take a frigging cab or something if you know your kid is uncontrollable. It is so unfair to subject us poor commuters who have no choice but to put up with the ear-splitting, hysterical wailing of your child just so you can get more benefits.
7. Fat people who insist on sitting and take up 2 seats
Erm, I think standing would do your huge butt some good – maybe it may shrink a little if you choose to stand rather than sit and deprive us of one extra seat?
8. People who bring strong-smelling food into the train
This is a TRAIN, not an AIR-CONDITIONED FOOD COURT or something to that effect. We do not need to walk out smelling like chwee kueh or any other crap you decide to have for your lunch/dinner.
9. Nincompoops who take their time strolling into the train and squirm/stare at others as we push past them
You can be the patty sandwiched between the train doors when they close, just leave us out of it thankyouverymuch.
10. Assholes who refuse to move to the centre of the carriage even though people are trying to get into the train
BE MORE CONSIDERATE! Lets see how you’ll feel if one day, you’re the one stuck outside when the train pulls off, and you see gaping spaces in the centre of the carriage that can fit a buffalo. Karma will sooo come and bite you in the ass.
lexy